Top Five Movies of the Year
1. Inglourious BasterdsReally, there was no way in hell this wasn't going to be the best movie of the year. This is vintage, prototypical Tarantino right here: You watch the movie and are mightily entertained by it, but once it's over, you question to yourself, "What the hell did I just watch?" Then, a few hours pass, and you can't get the movie out of your head, and the next thing you know, you're absolutely in love with it and can't wait to watch it again (and again (and again) (and again)). Then, you watch it again and realize it's an absolute masterpiece. Well, that's how this movie worked for me. Like most Tarantino movies, the viewing experience gets richer with each new viewing of it. This movie has it all - Brad Pit's best role to date, the best performance I've seen in a long time (Christoph Waltz), Nazis getting brained with a baseball bat by the director of Hostel, Hitler and Goebbels getting machine gunned to death in a movie theater, and a "Holy shit! Why didn't I think of that?"-moment in which one character points out the similarities between slavery and King Kong. If the movie has a theme (beyond Nazis being assholes and needing to die), it is this: The power of cinema. Cinema has the ability to make even uptight individuals blood-thirsty savages waiting for the next Nazi to get brutally killed; it has the ability to make those same people hypocrites for being disgusted at watching Nazis cheering on a fellow Nazi cinematically assassinating swarms of American soldiers. Cinema is so powerful here, though, that it actually changes history; in Tarantino's world, Hitler doesn't shoot himself in a bunker, he is taken out by the Basterds. Talking about the movie really just doesn't do it justice. You really just need to see it.
2. The Informant!Gotta love the underdog movie that nobody ever talks about, right? It's that rare indie flick with mainstream talent that actually succeeds on nearly every level. Many times, an unsuspecting audience sees a big name in an off-kilter movie and checks it out anyway, due to the big name guys. The movies generally turns out to be a giant turd way too far up it's own ass to ever entertain anyone except those fucking shitheads who wear black-rimmed glasses, tight jeans, and weird scarves and sit around drinking coffee in some shop (not Starbucks, that's too mainstream, bro) whilst discussing which shitty indie band is totally boss that week. Wow, glad I got that off my chest. This flick is one of the funniest movies of the year, anchored by a so-fucking-weird-it's-gotta-be-true story, and one of the best performances of the decade from Matt Damon. Wait, of the decade, Greg? To quote Mr. Big from "Sex and the City" (good show, men), "Absah-fuckin'-lutely. While you're watching the movie, you're marveling at Damon's ability to become a psychologically unbalanced white collar man, and then suddenly it dawns on you, "Wait a sec, this is Jason Bourne!" That's right, the same guy who plays uber-badass (I should get my ass kicked by Jason Bourne for saying 'uber-anything') Jason Effing Bourne is also this overweight, toupe wearing schmuck trying (and failing miserably) to outsmart his bosses, his wife, the FBI, and most depressingly, himself. The movie perfectly balances drama and comedy while speeding through the proceedings without losing the audience on the way. This is Soderbergh's best work since Ocean's 11, and I hope this isn't the last we see of he and Damon working with one another.
3. AvatarI really struggled between putting this at number two, but ultimately, I couldn't put anything that predominantly falls into the "Holy hot shit, you've got to see this movie in 3-D now!" category over the exceedingly more repeat-friendly The Informant! That doesn't mean Avatar is a bad film by any stretch of the imagination - it's amazing use of the 3-D technology mixed with other-worldly CGI instantly pushed what cinema is capable of achieving to new heights - it's just more of an event that needs to be experienced than a film that needs to be watched. If that makes sense. And it does. In my head. The flick marks James Cameron's return to feature films after a 12 year hiatus, and it's a damn great return. Based on the movie's intake over the last few weeks, a sequel is almost guaranteed, and since I was born in the 80's - the age of "More! More! More!" excess - I can only say this when the eventual announcement is made: "Fuck yeah! I'll be there!" Chances are, if you're reading this, you've already seen the movie, and you agree that it was mind-blowingly cool, and if you haven't seen it yet? What the hell are you waiting for! You don't want to see this in 2-D on video. Trust me.
4. District 9Easily one of the biggest surprises of the year. I am in constant amazement whenever I watch this movie - which is incredibly often, thanks to my Blu-ray copy (that I had to scrounge up pennies for, since nobody is paying for me to write this shit... yet). Whenever I watch this movie, I keep thinking to myself, "This shouldn't be that good." But, thank God, it is. The premise is wholly unique - an alien ship hovers over Johannesburg in South Africa, and the surviving aliens are (mostly) simple-minded drones who don't know what to make of their new home. That simple plotline sets the stage for a great story which addresses corporate immorality, prejudice, and the military complex. Not too bad for a summer blockbuster, eh? The flick is filled with no-name actors (many who had never even acted professionally, like the leading man, Sharlto Copley), and some of the most seamless CGI ever. The aliens all look very lifelike, and many of them have innocent faces which makes their experiences with humans all the more disheartening. The movie has several scenes which tug at your heart strings, and every time the film ends, I find myself nodding my head with a half-smile that indicates I've been affected in a way that films rarely achieve. Again, this shouldn't be that good. But it is. I hope you get to see it some day.
5. Up In the AirWhat a surprisingly excellent film this was! It's a very "sign-of-the-times" drama that features great performances from the entire cast, and it is just as likely to make you cry than it is to laugh (and trust me, you will laugh). George Clooney - quickly becoming one of my favorite actors, especially when considering he rocked the shit out of 2007's best film, Michael Clayton - stars as Ryan Bingham. Ryan is a man who is more concerned with gaining his 10 millionth frequent flyer mile than he is his own sister's impending nuptials. He's not what any of us would call a "people person," and it shows, given that his job is to fly around the country and fire people because their bosses are too scared to deal with the fallout. He spends more than 2/3's of his year on the road, and he likes it that way; he doesn't want to slow down and deal with life's issues. It's never explained why, but Ryan doesn't want to get burned by forming any solid connection with anybody. Of course, in spite of his plan in life, he forms a solid connection with someone. And he gets burned. This is an outstanding drama that I'm afraid won't find an audience due to it's semi-black comic approach towards much of life. I'm going to go all "critic" on you here and offer a phrase that's tailor-made for the back of the DVD case: It's a poignant, funny, and heartbreaking story that you won't soon forget!
Honorable Mentions: Star Trek, Capitalism: A Love Story, Up, and Watchmen
Worst Movie of the Year: Public EnemiesGuess what? Johnny Depp is charismatic. And handsome. And, apparently, he doesn't give a fuck about acting anymore, he just wants to rely on his handsomeness and charisma, as shown in this absolute stinker from Michael Mann. I had high hopes for this movie. Really high hopes. I mean, Mann is the dude responsible for Heat and Collateral, two of the coolest damn movies ever made. Of course, he's also responsible for the suckfest known as Miami Vice, but that seemed to be more of an abbhoration when it was released. I had all the faith in the world that Mann would bounce back in a big way with Public Enemies, but instead, he decided that Johnny Depp's dreamy brown eyes and hunky cheek bones would be more than enough to carry a two-plus hour film about John Dillinger. Really, how do you fuck up John Dillinger? The guy was like a mix between Jesse James (the outlaw, not the motorcycle dude) and Keith Richards - a celebrity bad boy who the public loved, but was still pretty terrified of. Apparently, the answer to my question is simple: Shoot extreme close-ups of Johnny Depp, throw in some incomprehensible violence, and a so-forced-it's-painful romance. Oh yeah, and spend some of the movie devoted to Melvin Purvis - the man who is hunting Dillinger - but don't give him any type of personality whatsoever. There were certainly lesser movies made in 2009, but none with more potential than this, and that's why I elected it to be my worst movie of the year. I struggled for a moment between this and Terminator: Salvation, but ultimately settled on this, simply because of the talent and story involved. Terminator: Salvation was clearly a dissapointment, but when you think about it, how good could a Arnold-less Terminator flick directed by McG be? Exactly. Not that great, am I right? Either way, a big old "Congratulations, dipshit!" goes out to Christian Bale for starring in my two least-favorite movies of the year. I hope your 2010 is a buttload better than your 2009, Mr. Bale.
Top Five Comic Books Of the Year
1. Batman and Robin by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely/Phillip TanSo, Grant Morrison has the audacity to kill of Bruce Wayne, and how does he respond to the millions of fanboys bitching about it? He goes on to write the best Batman book in years. Not enough for you? He talks his buddy, and one of the industry's brightest talents, Frank Quitely into pencilling the damn thing! Morrison didn't want to deal with the fallout and subsequent designation of a new Batman (it's Dick Grayson, the first Robin) so he left that to Tony Daniel - the excellent artist on Batman RIP to write and draw the miniseries which dealt with it all. So, after the dust settled, Morrison and Quitely began telling their beautiful masterpiece in the new Batmand and Robin series. When these two guys work together, it's simply magical. The two play off of each other incredibly, and their working relationship is probably the best in the business today. Morrison's weird, outlandish plotting is portrayed wonderfully by Quitely, and it's actually depressing that they don't constantly and exclusively work with one another. The series has, in six issues thus far, raised far more questions than it's answered (kind of like TV's LOST), yet the tale Morrison is telling clearly has an end in sight, and he constantly rewards long-time readers with nuggets of information. Yes, the series hit a bump in the road when Phillip Tan took over pencils for Quitely (there's just no way Quitely's slow-as-mollases workrate could have sustained a monthly book), but it was still the book I most looked forward to every month, and Morrison's insane stories were still amazing. I hope that the Batman franchise continues to fly as high as it does with Morrison in charge!
2. The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman and Charlie AdlardWho would have thought that a comic book about the zombie apocalypse would have such legs as a longform story? Kirkman's zombie opus is continually one of the best books on the shelf, and he indicates the series has no end in sight. It's amazing, since we're used to seeing zombie movies that inevitably end underwhelmingly. This is the first time that I've ever seen a story told about a group of survivors after the zombie holocaust that deals with them on a personal level - we see them constantly struggle for food, dealing with themselves and others, forming relationships that otherwise would never exist, and, of course, they kill some fucking zombies. The main reason for the series' continued success? Kirkman's ability to write realistic characters who behave realistically in a completely unrealistic (at least I fucking hope it's not realistic) situation. He lets us see how many humans would inevitably behave if society crumbled around us, and he shows us just what a normal person is capable of when fighting for their continued survival. The zombies always pose a serious threat, yet the real villains are those who haven't yet become zombified. This is an excellent series that continues to thrive, and each issue leaves me with my mouth agape, anxiously waiting for the next one to land in my hands.
3. Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? by Neil Gaiman and Andy KubertI almost didn't include this one for several reasons. What? You want me to list the reasons for you? Well, because I care about you, my faithful reader (and I'm still not getting paid for this), I will. As you already know by now, I rewarded a Batman book the number one spot on my list, and even though I am a huge Batman fan, I thought maybe one Batman book was more than enough for a list consisting of only five comic book titles. Also, this was only a two-issue story, and I felt that I should perhaps praise other comics that are telling longer stories. Then it dawned on me that I'm retarded. Seriously, how the hell could I not include this title on the list? Furthermore, how the hell could I only give it number three on the list? The answer to that question is a hard one to answer, simply because this is one of the few mainstream comic books that actually got to me on a very emotional level. If you were to ask me in five years what my favorite comic book stories of all-time were, there's a damn good chance that this will be in the top 2 (behind only Y: The Last Man, the only comic ever to bring me to the verge of tears). Neil Gaiman, in only two issues, mind you, was able to boil down the character of Batman to his very essence, and was able to show just why this particular super hero has endured for over 70 years. Andy Kubert does a tremendous job of "borrowing" other classic artists' renditions of the Dark Knight and those he shares his pages with - Kubert beautifully mimics the art style of Brian Bolland, Neil Adams, Bob Kane, and practically any other notable Bat-artist ever (he even portrays characters in the style of the wonderful Batman: The Animated Series). Simply put, this is a labor of love that will endure as one of the best Batman stories ever printed. No writer has ever summed up Batman so perfectly, and no other writer has ever showed why there will always be a Batman. Heavy stuff...
4. Invincible Iron Man by Matt Fraction and Salvadore LaRoccaOver the last few years, Marvel has tried (and mostly succeeded) to create a line-wide, overarching story in which all of the Marvel universe characters are involved. It's been an up-and-down road to travel, but it really paid off for Matt Fraction's extended run on Iron Man. With the Dark Reign casting a, ahem, dark cloud over the universe, no character has been as adversely affected as Tony Stark - A.K.A. "Iron Man." After the abomination known as Secret Invasion, Tony Stark lost the keys to the castle known as SHIELD, and Norman Osborn (the former Green Goblin) took his place. With Tony Stark being portrayed as an inept security expert, Norman swoops in and takes control. Tony takes a lot of information when he leaves, though. Information Norman Osborn covets. Information like the identity of every super hero who didn't unmask him/herself after the Civil War which led to Tony's rise to power. The thing is, Tony kept all that information stored on a hard drive, only that hard drive is Tony's brain (long story short, Tony's a genius and had essentially turned his entire body into an amazing computer). This leads to Tony being Norman's Most Wanted, and Tony goes on the run to wipe his brain clean, ensuring that Norman doesn't ever access the important information Tony holds. The story brilliantly displays how heroic and flawed Tony Stark is as a man - he rarely even steps foot into one of his famous suits throughout the story - and it's something that writers have been missing from him since Civil War. Fraction shows just how far Tony is willing to go to ensure the freedoms and liberties of those who hate him, and in the process, he humanizes Tony Stark. Rarely do comic characters become so multi-faceted and selfless (that's saying a lot, considering many heroes already sacrifice so much to save others regularly); Stark is actively trying to turn himself into a vegetable in order to make sure Osborn doesn't get what he wants. It's great to see a character who just enjoyed his biggest year (that movie was HUGE) get put through the ringer like this, and Fraction shows us that being a hero doesn't always end with a hot girl in bed, and an adoring public cheering you on.
5. Blackest Night by Geoff Johns and Ivan ReisI guess I'm a sucker for longform serials that slowly build up over years of solid storytelling. The Blackest Night storyline has been steadily brewing in John's extended run on Green Lantern for a long time now, and the series finally came to fruition in the summer. I expected a huge disappointment, since the majority of event-comics I've read lately have really blown massive amounts of chunks - I'm looking at you, Secret Invasion - so I almost shat myself when I read issue numero uno and it rocked. The premise is simple, yet powerful: each color in the spectrum of light represents a human emotion - green is willpower, yellow is fear, blue is hope, red is rage, orange is avarice, indigo is compassion, and violet is love. Turns out there is another powerful emotion slowly revealing itself - death, which is personified here as the black lantern. The black lanterns unleash upon the universe, resurrecting all sorts of dead motherfuckers and, in a twist that is both funny and interesting (considering more superheroes die and return to life than you can count), death wants those superheroes who have escaped their fate. The series is not over just yet, but I find it hard to believe that there will be any type of significant letdown, especially after issue six released. This is why mainstream superhero comics are so damn good!
Worst Comic Book of the Year
Captain America Reborn by Ed Brubaker and Brian HitchSame deal here as with Public Enemies. There were obviously worse books released this year, but few had such promise. This is also more a referendum on Marvel's inability to tell a whole story without royally fucking it up than anything. Thanks to a bad release schedule, the readers found out how the story ended before the final book was released (it's still not done!). Furthermore, they actually released the epilogue one-shot before the finals issue, which only further hampers any effectiveness the series could have had. And, the final nail in the coffin (that's actually a funny pun, since Captain America is actually returning from the dead) is the fact that Steve Rogers - the original Captain America - returns, yet he doesn't reclaim his shield. Why did Marvel bother resurrecting such a revered character if they're going to pussify him by giving him PTSD (I'm not belittling the effects of PTSD here, but this is Captain Fucking America, the guy took down Hitler!) and making him afraid to step back into the ring. This was just a disappointing book, and Marvel is at fault here.
Best Book of the Year
The Book of Basketball by Bill SimmonsI'm a bit of a hoops freak. I have NBA League Pass Broadband, I never miss a Cavs game (well, I missed one this season, picking my friend up in Mason City), and I vehemently hate the Boston Celtics. Along with movies and comics, basketball is probably my favorite timekill. Therefore, this book was written for guys like me. The best part about the book, though, is that it will turn even the most casual of fans into a rabid freak. Simmons, who writes for ESPN, has a tremendous knack for writing in his natural voice that the book comes off like a smart guy talking for a while rather than a boring book. He offers great insights into the league, like the fact that Michael Jordan really was quite a prick, Wilt Chamberlain cared more about stats than winning, and how cocaine nearly destroyed the league in the late 70's and early 80's. He gives his list of greatest players ever, and while I disagreed with several of his choices, his logic was hard to argue with. Simmons is a Boston guy, so he naturally treats Larry Bird and Bill Russell like Jesus and Moses, yet he remains as unbiased as possible - aside from his constant shots on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It's a great book for fans of the game, and judging on it's good sales, there seems to be quite a few. My favorite part of the book? His constant potshots at Karl Malone's inability to be clutch, and Kobe Bryant's ridiculous changes in attitude over the years. It's a great book from a great writer. Check it out.
