The Informant

*****
Five Stars Out of Five

So, I'm giving out my first five star review. I actually struggled with the decision to award this flick five stars, simply because it isn't the best movie I've seen this year (that title still belongs to "Inglourious Basterds" which I would give five stars now, after a second viewing - Tarantino works like that). It is one of the best movies I have seen in a long time, though, and it really is one of the best of it's kind ever made. It's a "stranger than fiction" flick, and it's fucking hysterical, maddening, upsetting, pathetic, entertaining, and... true.

The movie opens by stating that everything that follows is indeed true, though certain names were changed in order to protect certain identities. The time is 1992, and we are quickly introduced to Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon's best performance EVER), who is talking to his son about corn, and how corn is in pretty much everything. Mark works for ADM, which is essentially one of the biggest food distributors on the planet. They're ranked 44 on the Fortune 500, and they want to stay there by any means necessary. In order to remain in that position, they have to deal with a lysine problem which is at that moment threatening to slightly derail their status as a corporate powerhouse. Lucky for them, Mark has been notified by one of their Japanese "rivals" that he knows what the problem is, and can solve it for them for $7 million. The feds are brought in to deal with the corporate tampering, and all hell pretty much breaks loose.

Mark independently goes to the feds, mainly Special Agent Brian Shepard (Scott Bakula) and his partner Bob (Joel McHale), to inform them that ADM and their fellow businesses are involved in a worldwide price-fixing scandal that is allowing them all to stay on top of the food pyramid. Mark's motives for going to the feds is never really made quite clear, and as the movie unfolds, the audience begins to question why the hell this guy would ever do this in the first place, especially as Mark hasn't exactly been a law abiding citizen himself. Does he go to the feds because he wants to stop these illegal practices? Is it because he wants to run the company himself? Or is it simply because he wants to play "spy" for a while?

For fear of spoilers, I will end the synpopsis there, but know that what I've described is really only the tip of the iceberg. What follows is confusing, yet by the time the credits role, all is made pretty well clear.

Matt Damon's performance as Mark Whitacre is really something special. It's not just the fact that he gained 40 pounds of fat for the role, it really is his ability to become this character. Damon is not a particularly handsome man to begin with, but he's actually ugly as Mark Whitacre. He's got a porn-stache that would make many men blush and a hair-piece that looks like a dead rat. The really amazing thing is that Damon's voice is different. He narrates the film, and his loose confidence and wonderment in every irreverant detail of the world pushes the film further and further into whimsical ridiculousness.

Mark clearly has some psychological issues and he has an awkward sense of self-importance. He feels like he should be running ADM, and while he is a deeply intelligent individual, you can tell he really doesn't understand the way the world works, or how he should behave around others. He's kind of off in his own little world much of the time; when he should be worried about the feds on his ass, he's questioning himself as to why anyone would ever name their daughter after the capital of Saskatchewan (that name being Regina). When he should be focusing on bringing down the pricks who run the company, he's wondering why polar bears cover their noses before they strike on their prey - mainly, how do they know their noses are black? There are numerous occasions where Mark retreats into his own irreverant thoughts instead of focusing on the task at hand, and these are often the funniest moments in the film. Mark also has problems with being entirely forthcoming with the truth, even when it is most important to be truthful to those who can help him - the feds, and his lawyers. There is an incredibly funny scene in which Mark and his lawyers are going to talk to the Disrict of Justice, and as they're boarding the elevator, Mark utters, "I know I haven't been completely honest with you guys, but I'm going to set it all straight in there." Even though he's a disturbed individual, Mark remains a sympathetic character simply because you feel sorry for him. He's an idiot, and maybe even slightly sociopathic, but you get the idea that he just doesn't know any better. The entire movie hinges on Damon's ability to be sympathetic on any level whatsoever, and that's why the movie is such a success - Damon does indeed become sympathetic.

The movie moves along at a brisk pace, never meandering or focusing on one thing for too long. Steven Soderbergh is a confident filmmaker - confident in his directing, his cast, and more importantly in his audience to follow along - and it pays dividends here. There are several moments in the film where Soderbergh could have paused for a minute or five to go into some unneccesary exposition as to why something is happening. The assumption that his audience is smart is a great one; in lesser hands, the film could have easily been two plus hours long. Instead, Soderbergh keeps the narrative moving and lets the character's actions and words organically move the story forward.

So, I've been pretty complimentary here, huh? Sure, I'm praising the hell out of this movie, but just why does it deserve a five star review? Well, it's simple - it's entirely perfect as it is. It's not often that I watch a movie and think to myself, 'There's nothing I would change here. It's perfect as it is.' That's how I feel about "The Informant." As Goldilocks would say, "This one is just right!"

Seriously, go see this movie. It's fucking awesome. While it is first and foremost a character study of an interesting man, it also addresses corporate tinkering for billion-dollar businesses to make even more money, it sheds light on the ineptness of the law, it gives us glimpses of the assholes in charge of it all, and while it's doing all of this, it makes us laugh. There is no way in hell somebody could have sat down and just thought something as weird as this up, it's just too out there to work as fiction. Only in the real world that we live in could something as twisted as this happen. Please go support this movie. It's really good, and I cannot wait to see it again.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

*****
Three Stars Out of Five

The idea of a movie based on the comic book character Wolverine has been a fanboy's wet dream for years. Wolverine is one of the biggest badasses in comics, second only to Batman. Fans of Wolverine got a taste of him in the three X-Men movies, which ranged from good to pretty bad. What fans really wanted, though, was sheer, uncensored, murderous Wolverine on his own, before he toned himself down in order to join the X-Men. Well, we finally got a solo Wolverine movie, and it's... average.

The movie begins in the Canadian Rockies circa 1845. We are immediately introduced to a young James, and his friend Victor. James is sick, and as we learn quickly, has been sick most of his young life. It is revealed that Victor, also, has been sick when he was younger. With little character exposition right away, we learn that James and Victor share the same father, and their father shoots the man James thought was his father. James goes into a berserker rage, bone claws extend from his hands and he kills his real father. Victor and James (whom Victor calls "Jimmy) flee, and the opening credits role. It shows an adult James (Hugh Jackman) - who is called Logan now, even though the film never reveals why this is (I know why, but I'm a comic nerd; it would have been nice for the filmmakers to include this tidbit for the general audience though) and Victor Creed (Liev Schrieber) in a montage of every significant war up until Vietnam. This is a really cool sequence wear we get to see Creed lose control several times, and we begin to learn that this is a man who loves violence. Ultimately, Logan and Victor are sentenced to death by the U.S. and that sentence isn't exactly carried out, as Logan and Victor have amazing healing abilities.

Sitting in a dark cell, they are introduced to Col. William Stryker (Danny Huston). Stryker has a proposition for them: join his black ops force and use their powers for the good of the country. They oblige, as the two have nothing else to look forward to. We are then quickly introduced to the rest of the team - there's Agent Zero, a supreme marksman, Bolt (Dominic Monaghan in a tiny cameo), Wraith (Will.I.Am of the Black-Eyed Peas), Fred Dukes (who will become The Blob), and Wade Wilson (an amazing Ryan Reynolds who is sorely underused). The team storms a fortress in an attempt to find a rare material, and Logan doesn't wish to be part of a team that kills innocent people on a regular basis. He leaves the team, and Victor, behind to settle into a peaceful life.

Six years pass, and Stryker finds Logan in Canada, working as a lumberjack and living with Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins). He tries to lure Logan back into the fray, but Logan refuses. It is only when Victor attacks and kills Kayla that Logan agrees to follow Stryker, as Stryker promises to give Logan the ability to kill Creed and get his vengeance for the death of Kayla.

Of course the story can't quite be this simple can it? Of course not. Turns out Stryker is manipulating Logan, and once Logan has the adamantium attached to his skin, Stryker wants to erase his memory and use him as a weapon. Logan hears this and enters into a berserker rage, killing anyone (except Stryker, of course) who stands in his way and escapes the facility in the middle of the Canadian wilderness. What follows is a mash-up of the "Rambo" films and a generic superhero origin story. It's not very original stuff.

Like I said, the story isn't all too original, but it is likable, for some reason. The main reason the movie works is due to the actors. Jackman was born to play Logan/Wolverine, and Schreiber brings the exact right amount of menace and sociopathic tendencies to Victor Creed to make him a great villain who wants his brother's undying attention. I really wish they would have focused more on the dynamic between Logan and Victor, as they are perfect foils for one another. Everybody else in the movie is good, too, with the exception of Ryan Reynolds who was absolutely born to play Wade Wilson - the mercenary who eventually goes on to become Deadpool. Reynolds has the personality and quirky delivery that makes him perfect for Wilson, and he tears up the screen, for the whole 15 minutes or so he gets to. I really wanted more of him, but this is a Wolverine movie, and Deadpool will have to wait for his own flick to be released. The other stand-out performance belongs to Taylor Kitsch who plays fan-favorite Gambit. He, too, is great in his little time on-screen and he is cocky and likable enough to picture himself carrying his own Gambit movie somewhere down the road.

There's a handful of things that the filmmakers got right with this prequel to the X-Men movies (like the casting, mentioned above), but there's a metric fuckton of things they got wrong with it. It's hard for me, as an avid comic book collector, to watch this movie and not pick nits with every single frame of celluloid, but even viewers who have little-to-no experience with Wolverine, or any of the other X-Men for that matter, will find plenty of issues with the movie. The biggest issue with the movie are it's subpar special effects. When I say subpar, I really mean horrendously fucking pathetic. There are seriously scenes with CGI that looked like they were rendered using $50 software that a soccer-mom would buy to make flashy home videos of her kids. It's really that bad. And they fucked up the most essential part of Wolverine - his goddamn claws!

Maybe it wouldn't be as obvious if we haven't seen Wolverine's claws in three previous movies. There were never scenes in the three movies prior to this where Wolverine's claws looked half as bad. I can't figure out how the filmmakers could not only regress so horribly in the special effects department, but how they could not be embarassed by releasing a product that clearly was unfinished.

Another big misstep the filmmakers made with this flick is their need to squeeze as many mutants into the movie as possible, even if it does screw up the narrative, or even the continuity established in the earlier films. As I mentioned above, the acting is good, but the actors - mainly Reynolds and Kitsch - don't have a lot of screen time, or much to work with. This is a movie about Wolverine, and it should focus on him, not other X-Men characters. If you're going to put these loved characters into the movie, at least make them important. It seems as though the filmmakers wanted to shoehorn in as many mutants as a possible as a sort of fan service, but in the end, they simply end up pissing the fans off by just teasing them (Gambit) or screwing them up pretty badly (Deadpool).In addition, nobody was really clamoring for a teen version of Cyclops, yet they unnecessarily throw him at us for reasons I can't comprehend.

The one thing I feel the filmmakers couldn't avoid was all of the continuity already established in the previous trilogy. The three prior X-Men movies established that Wolverine had lost his memory (just like the comics), and was given the adamantium by Col. Stryker. This put the filmmakers in a tough position, because now they had to tell an origin story under specific guidelines so as not to screw up the continuity that the first films introduced. Either way, they still step on some toes as not everything is followed closely enough and it seems like revisionist history in some scenes.

There really is a lot to hate about this movie, but for some reason I still liked it. Maybe it's because I'm a geek, or maybe the actors just simply elevated the material by kicking ass. It was a fun but forgettable action flick, and while I always like seeing Wolverine on screen, it did leave quite a bit to be desired. I understand the filmmakers had to follow certain guidelines, but there are many times where they just seemed to not care enough about the material and just threw together some random scenes and special effects.

You probably won't hate yourself for watching this comic book movie - like, say, "Fantastic Four," "Ghost Rider," or "Spider-Man 3" - but you also won't feel like it's elevating the genre and belongs in the company of great films in general - like "The Dark Knight" or "Iron Man." It's worth watching, just don't expect anything earth-shattering. Let's hope the sequel rights a lot of the wrongs in this one.

Crank 2: High Voltage

*****
Three Stars out of Five

I've been waiting to see "Crank 2" for a while now, since I loved the first one for it's ridiculousness and it's drive to be one of the most offensive mainstream movies around. I didn't get a chance to see "Crank 2" in theaters, so I was anxious to watch it the moment it was released on Blu-Ray yesterday. The end result of the new(ish) Neveldine/Taylor flick? It's good, just not as good as the original. I think the biggest reason the sequel doesn't have the impact of the first one was this time I knew just what to expect, whereas Crank was a pleasant surprise.

The sequel opens literally moments after the first movie ends. Chev Chelios (Jason Statham, the closest thing we've got to a modern-day action star) has just fallen over 10,000 feet from a helicopter, and he lands on top of a car, bounces off of it, and settles on the concrete. Surprisingly, he doesn't die (there is a moment later on in the film where the directors poke fun at themselves for this... improbable incident). He is shovelled up by some Triad gang members and is taken to a building where his heart is taken out of his body. Instead of letting him die, the Triad members replace his heart with a prosthetic heart that needs to be charged quite often. They want to harvest his organs, so they want to keep him alaive for as long as possible. The first organ they want to harvest? His massive cock. When Chev hears this, he escapes and sets out to find the people responsible for stealing his unbreakable heart.

That's really it for the premise of the movie, but the flick survives on it's simplicity. All Neveldine/Taylor want is to have the barest of plots so they can do what they want in the framework of the universe they've created. And they do. The best way to describe the "Crank" movies is by saying they're cartoons for immature adults. Like Wyle E. Coyote, Chev Chelios can fall from a helicopter, get electrocuted, tazed, poisoned, shot at and catch fire, but yet he somehow he survives to make it to his next unbelievable encounter. It doesn't matter. If you want realism, do not watch this, because it's about as real as "Finding Nemo." If you want to watch something that makes absolutely zero sense outside of the context of the movie itself, yet provides ridiculous amounts of gore, black comedy, and action, then watch the fuck out of this movie. "Crank 2" is not high art, but it doesn't aspire to be, and that's why it succeeds.

Neveldine/Taylor have been unfairly lumped into the category of "Post-Tarantino" filmmakers. That really couldn't be further from the truth, as their style doesn't remotely have anything in common with Tarantino's, aside from said moments of black comedy. Tarantino regularly builds his scenes up into a crescendo, and then punctuates the climax of the scenes with violence, or something else surprising. Neveldine/Taylor aren't concerned with building anything up; fuck suspense, fuck characterization, fuck realism. All these guys want to do is have fun, and it is fun - for them, and for the audience. There's a scene very early on in the film where Chev gets into a fire-fight with some bad guys, and at the end, the only ones who remain are him and a portly Mexican. What does Chev do with his shotgun? Why, he dips the barrel into some oil nearby (there's always buckets of oil nearby...), and shoves the barrel up this guys ass in order to get the information he covets. And no, the information Chev is searching for is not if the man's prostate is swollen. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, don't watch this. There's another shoot-out at a strip club and a stripper takes two bullets to her fake breasts. Silicone starts leaking out of them as she screams. It's stupid, but it answers the question that I'm sure several twenty-something guys have asked themselves: "What happens when implants get shot?"

"Crank 2" is essentially the world on the terms of the filmmakers; physics don't neccessarily apply, even if they are referenced from time to time. The same goes for all logic - there are moments of realism and logic that seep through the cracks of the flick; the electronic heart in Chev actually DOES exist, it just doesn't actually work the way it's portrayed in the move. Sorry, guys, but having one of these hearts doesn't mean you should go out and get an electronic dog collar and shock yourself because you want to get a quick burst of energy, and you don't want to spend all that money on cocaine. Neveldine/Taylor take the real world and everything in it, then simply tweak it so it fits their mold of chaos.

Aside from the craziness, Neveldine/Taylor really succeed with their visuals. Their use of subtitles for Bai Ling - the Chinese actress who can barely be understood - are a highlight: they let us actually understand her, and it is also a parody of Bai Ling herself, as she has been critiqued for being as incomprehensible as Keith Richards. They also portray the chaos going on incredibly well; there is some shaky-cam, but it fits here and it never disrupts the viewer or makes it difficult to discern what's going on. Their angles are also cool and add to the high-pitched energy permeating throughout the movie.

Is "Crank 2" good? Fuck yeah, it is. It's just not as good as "Crank," so it is a mild disappointment. I'm actually ready to go and watch it again, this time with my expectations in check. It is probably more offensive than the first one, definitely more gory, it's just not quite as funny this time around. The sex scene at the horsetrack is amazingly hysterical, and there are several other moments that made me laugh out loud. The ending this time around is equally as ambiguous/unrealistic as the first one, so I am anxiously awaiting news of a "Crank 3," and am wondering just what the fuck they'll do to Chelios and Co. next time around.

P.S. - There's also a hysterical running joke throughout the movie where almost everyone says, "Fuck you, Chelios." Want a fun drinking game? Take a shot every time you hear it. You'll be pissed like 30 minutes in.

Gamer

*****
Three Stars Out of Five

"Gamer" is the new Neveldine/Taylor flick. These are the guys that brought us "Crank" and "Crank 2: High Voltage"(which I have yet to see). I really liked "Crank," as it was an offensively over-the-top action movie which had an incredibly unbelievable premise, yet remained fun for it's short duration. Neveldine/Taylor are visual filmmakers first and foremost, and they are more concerned with burning your retinas with ungodly amounts of images and bright lights than they are with telling a spectacular story that leaves you scratching your head. Which is kind of why "Gamer" left me scratching my head.

The movie opens with Kable (Gerard Butler) on death row, some years in the future. This isn't the death row we know of, rather it's a death row in which the inmates have been injected with some self-replicating cells that essentially turns that person into an avatar for video gamers. Screw high-def visuals and audio, screw Sony, Nintendo, and Microsoft. These guys are the real deal, and when they die, it's flesh, bone, and brain matter being sprayed across the screen. The inmates are by and large operated by snot-nosed teenagers and the public is addicted to each episode of "Slayers." In addition to "Slayers" there is another game entitled "Society," which is just like Playstation Home, but with real people. These people aren't prisoners; instead these avatars are employees who get paid to be taken control of by consumers - from what we see, fat, slobby consumers. "Society" is basically a virtual (yet not virtual) Gomorrah where people take control of avatars and have them fuck, drink, and commit acts of violence for their pleasure. It's deeply disturbing, yet eerily similar to some of the shit you will see on Playstation Home at any given time. "Slayers" and "Society" are the brain-children of Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall, from "Dexter"), a bonafide genius who is obviously a little twisted upstairs.

So, Kable is in the midst of his 26th "Slayers" outing when the movie opens. If he gets to 30, he gets set free. The notion of freedom is the only thing that keeps Kable going, and he keeps his head down when he's not fighting. He just wants to serve his time and get back to his wife and kid. The kid controlling him, Simon, is a pretty big douche who just so happens to be famous for his ability to kill living people by controlling another living person. His scenes are generally funny, and are a nice way to not only break up the action and give us glimpses into this dystopian future.

Unfortunately, the plot isn't quite that simple. Turns out that there's an underground movement entitled Humanz, which hacks into the live feeds of television shows to warn the people that they're dangerously close to giving up their free will in order to be entertained. It's not a bad subplot, but it also slows down the pace of the movie quite a bit. In addition to this, there's another over-arching conspiracy at work here, one I won't spoil, even though it is abundantly clear within 15 minutes of the movie's start.

The action is incredibly visceral - there's a lot of bloody deaths in each and every battle scene, and the stunt-work is top-notch. There is a really cool chase sequence about halfway through the movie in which two dumptrucks are upended. The action sequences are shot from a third-person viewpoint, which is pretty reminiscent of video games. There are some really sweet kills, and you'll see detached limbs quite often. Aside from the shoot-outs and car chases, there's some pretty awesome hand-to-hand combat as well, and Butler makes a believable badass. There is also a ridiculously funny, too-stupid-for-reality scene in which Kable has to gas up a truck that involves urine and vomit. Stupid, yet silly. In Neveldine/Taylor's world, anything is possible.

The acting is all around decent, with the exception of Michael C. Hall, who is obviously enjoying himself here. Hall is fucking brilliant on "Dexter," one of the best shows on TV, but he's an entirely different animal in "Gamer." The key to his success as Dexter is his ability to blend into his environment, to remain subdued on the surface yet always on the brink of exploding. In "Gamer," he's a scenery-chewing, B-movie villainous machine. He's a caricature of movie villains, but he's also pretty likable. He's definitely the highlight of the movie. Gerard Butler is exactly what you would expect of him - he's a firm character who kicks ass. Ludacris plays the leader of the Humanz, and he's a pretty shitty rapper-turned-actor. He's not Common-in-"Terminator: Salvation"-bad, but he's not any fucking good, either. Some rap icons, most notably Ice Cube (in "Boyz In the Hood," and "Three Kings") can transition into acting, while others, like the above-mentioned Common, 50 Cent, and others, should stick to their music careers. I'd say the same for Ludacris, but I don't think he should be doing any rapping, either.

The plot itself was a bit of a misstep. I would have preferred to have Kable remain a prisoner who is just trying to earn his freedom as opposed to the savior of humanity. Instead, the movie switches gears about halfway through to turn into standard action fare, complete with a Bond villain-esque diatribe explaining the devious intentions of the Big Bad. The only thing missing is a mustache-twirling scene. Neveldine/Taylor had the opportunity to really make an interesting argument for our need to have realistic gaming, and the deviance many people will take part in as long as they can stay anonymous. Furthermore, there is an interesting idea floating underneath the surface of the movie about our ability to crave violence - watching it, that is, not necessarily partaking in it. Above all of these interesting threads is yet another intelligent nod to marketing and advertising. Kable, who is a murderer on death row, has become a celebrity and media-darling. Kable is not actually a "murderer," yet the general public is ignorant to this. There are great plot devices in this movie, they're just generally under-cooked or ignored. Instead, they took the easy way out and settled for a typical "bad man wants to take over the world" angle instead. It's a half-baked story, but the part that is baked is pretty fucking cool. If only they would have focused on that part more intently than the latter.

For a disposable action movie, "Gamer" really succeeds. It reminds me of many of the action movies of the 80's, where there is no moral ambiguity, no grey areas. Just bad guys who need killing by the good guy. That's all fine and dandy, but the filmmakers set up a great premise which could have really dug into an interesting issue and threw it out the window at the expense of an easy fix. I'd recommend the movie to anyone who wants some disposable entertainment, and especially to anyone who plays a lot of video games. These guys know their gaming culture, and there are a lot of great sight-gags for people who know it as well. Check it out, but don't expect anything too special.

Batman and Robin #1-3, "The Circus of the Strange"

*****
Five Stars Out of Five

When it was announced that Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely would be working on an ongoing Batman comic, I practically shit myself. These two fellas have been referred to as the Lennon and McCartney of comics, although I prefer Mick and Keef, because they're edgier and a bit harder to get a handle on (though they probably have done the same amount of hallucinogens as the Beatles). These are the guys that delivered arguably the best Superman story ever with "All-Star Superman," the sad and touching "We3," the Earth-shattering "New X-Men," and more. I mean, they bring out the best in each other and have never failed to deliver on a comic when working together.

Once I almost shat myself, I thought for a moment that Quitely's style doesn't exactly lend itself to Batman very well, though. His art is uniquely original, but it's always colored so bright, and Batman isn't known for his brightness. He's a dark character and inhabits a dark world. Even so, I remained optimistic given their previous collaborations, and when issue #1 finally hit stands, I was beyond satisfied.

Grant Morrison has been writing the main Batman book for almost five years now, and he just got done killing off Bruce Wayne (gasp!) in "Final Crisis." No worries, though, a death in comics is never really a death. The characters always come back, even when we're told explicitly that they won't - I'm looking at you, Steve Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America. Grant Morrison is known for his wild ideas; he is the guy the Wachowski Brothers plagiarized for "The Matrix," after all, and has delivered more fucked up stories than arguably any other mainstream comic book writer of all time. So, if his wild ideas include taking Bruce Wayne off the table for a while and sticking him in the stone age, then I'll happily follow. He told my favorite Batman arc of all time with "R.I.P" and delivered the best characterization of the Joker I've ever read, stemming all the way back to his "Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth." Even though Bruce Wayne is dead, Batman is still alive and kicking, it's just a different person in the cape and cowl now.

The new Batman is Dick Grayson, the original Robin who went on to become Nightwing. Dick reluctantly takes up the mantle of the Bat after realizing Gotham City is even shittier without Bats around. He needs a sidekick, and instead of taking on Tim Drake (the current Robin), he chooses Bruce's illegitimate lovechild Damian. It's no coincidence Damian shares the same name as the son of the Devil, as he's a little fucker who was raised by ninja terrorists(!) and is in peak physical condition for a 10 year old. Dick's rationale here is, it's better to teach this kid to be a do-gooder now than to have to deal with him in 10 years. That, and it's what Bruce would have wanted.

It's interesting that, given 70 years of publishing history, nobody has ever switched the roles of Batman and Robin. Batman has always been the brooding, dark character who takes on a sidekick in his obsessive, never-ending war on crime in order to keep sane and have a reminder of the inherent good in people, while Robin has always been more of a happy-go-lucky kid who enjoys the lifestyle and balances out the harder-edged Batman. Now, Batman is a guy who enjoys the job, won't hesitate to crack a joke under pressure, and Robin is the tough-as-nails "bad cop" who is more of a loose cannon. The interplay between the two is both interesting and hysterical. Dick is trying to discipline this little shit who doesn't really understand why they don't just kill the villains instead of capturing them and having them escape from the revolving-doors of Arkham Asylum. Damian wants to make good on his father's name but has a difficult time getting over his violent, rash tendencies - he was raised by ninja terrorists(!), after all.

When Morrison was promoting the series, he said that he was interested in meshing the style of the Adam West Batman show (Wham! Pow! Kaboom!) with the darker, more modern Batman in the comics. This seemed like an interesting marriage of styles, and also a little... odd. Surprisingly, Morrison has accomplished just this with the help of his good friend Frank Quitely. The art style is beautiful and bright, and Quitely has done something I've never seen in a comic before: he makes words out of the action on panel. It's hard to explain, but it's fucking gorgeous. His explosions spell out "Boom!" and blood-splatter from gunshots spell out "Bang." It's something small, but it totally grabs the reader and does capture that Adam West-era a little bit.

The first issue of "The Circus of the Strange" arc opens with Batman and Robin going after a low-level thug named "Toad" who looks like... a toad. He's part of a larger criminal group that is shelling out some new drug that really messes with the individual that takes it. After an awesome interrogation in the new Batmobile (it's capable of flight now), we are introduced to Professor Pyg. Pyg was first introduced in the "possible future" story of Batman #666, but he this is his introduction to the DCU proper. Pyg is a disturbing man who wears a pig mask and butcher's apron. His goal is to make everyone "perfect" by turning them into mutated dolls that he calls Dollotrons. We see the process of turning someone into the Dollotron, and it's horrific and disturbing.

So begins issue 2. The story really starts to pick up here, with Batman and Robin dropping by the police station. They are welcomed by Comissioner Gordon and his fellow officers. The police make a few comments about how Batman and Robin seem a little bit different now, and Gordon's response is that yes, they do, but there's something familar about them. It's a nice nod to the fact that Gordon isn't stupid, and he has for years known the real identity of Batman, and he's also pieced it together that the former Robin is now behind the cape and cowl.

Once inside the station, the dynamic duo is ambushed by some of Toad's peers. Quitely's art really explodes off of the page here, in which Batman and Robin face off against Siamese triplets, a fat bearded lady, and a man who is constantly on fire. It's awesome to see Morrison tackle a group of misfits from a circus jump into crime. There's a fraternity between these people, the feeling that nobody understands them but each other, and it's just plain creepy to see the bearded lady in a tutu trying to kill a 10 year old. Quitely is also able to somehow pull of exhibiting Dick's skills and how they differ from Bruce's. Dick has always been leaner and more acrobatic than Bruce; Dick is finesse to Bruce's power, and with no animation whatsoever, Quitely is able to relay that here. This sequence also shows Damian is a bit of a badass, too. He fucks up the Bearded Lady, but is a little too headstrong. He doesn't follow Dick's orders and puts himself in harm's way. After the battle, back at the Batcave, Dick and Damian get into an argument that culminates in Damian quitting and going off after Professor Pyg himself. What follows is a great segment of dialogue between Dick and Alfred, with Alfred playing the fatherly role. Dick complains that the cape hinders his natural acrobatic skills and it's affecting him in the field. Again, it's great to see Morrison address something that seems so trivial, yet the fans love the fact that it's given some attention. The issue ends with Damian at the abandoned carnival (looks eerily similar to the one in "The Killing Joke") ready to take down Professor Pyg. He fails and is captured.

The third issue opens with Batman dragging Phosphorous Rex (the flaming guy) through the streets of Gotham, trying to get answers to Pyg's whereabouts. After some dangerous gambling with Rex's body, he gives up the information. There's a quick scene of interaction between Gordon and Batman in which Gordon questions Batman's decision to treat a prisoner with such hostility, culminating in the question, "Who are you?" Dick's reaction is fucking priceless: "I'm Batman." This is the moment where Dick completely gives himself over to the Batman persona, and it shows him becoming a little bit more like Bruce.

Damian is tied up at the carnival and Pyg is getting ready to make Damian "perfect." Pyg talks to Damian, releasing some hints that will drive Morrison fans crazy for a while until they're slowly revealed within the pages of the book further down the road. During this sequence, Pyg shows his insanity by dancing to "sexy disco hot" music on a pink iPod, taking his shirt off in the process. Damian, the steadfast little shit, simply states, "You just redefined wrong." Damian then escapes and starts kicking all sorts of ass, fucking up Dollotrons left and right, while trying to save Scarlett, a woman who was captured by Pyg and was given the doll-face, but has yet to lose her identity. Pyg grabs Damian and is unable to save her. As Pyg is about to off Robin, Batman arrives and fucks him up. He tells Robin that he was unprepared, but still did a good job nevertheless. They handle Pyg, and afterwards, Dick "discovers" an antidote, labeled "Antidote" and Damian informs him that he was trying to save some girl. Dick says that no bodies were found, so she must have escaped.

We're given a little interlude which hearkens back to the beginning - and end - of R.I.P. where Batman and Robin capture Le Bossu. It's a nice little throwback to R.I.P. and it helps with chronological classification for the hardcore fanboys out there (myself included). The issue ends at the hospital, where Scarlett is killing off all of the other Dollotrons. She's confronted by the police and before they can do anything, they're killed in spectacular fashion, again because of Quitely's deft ability to draw the coolest shit imaginable. The killer is revealed to be the Red Hood, and he offers Scarlett the chance to be his sidekick is fighting crime...

The ending is a great way to set up the next arc, which, sadly, will not be penciled by Quitely. Instead, Phillip Tan will be taking over for the next three issue arc, and Quitely will return in issue 10 (bringing the Joker along with him - Quitely doing the Joker is a fanboy's wetdream). The identity of the Red Hood remains a mystery for now - it it Jason Todd? The Joker? Another new person behind the mask? Only time will tell, and either way, I have faith that no matter who is revealed to be behind the mask, Morrison will handle it in a way that makes sense and is a total mindfuck.

What Morrison and Quitely have accomplished with this series is hard to truly express in words. There are so many great books on the stands right now, from the capes to the indies, that it's hard for a Batman book to come out and completely exceed all expectations. This is a book that, along with "All-Star Superman," may go down as one of the best books of the decade, if not more than that. Morrison has taken a 70 year old character and made him new to us again, in a way that I didn't think was possible. The book flies by at such a quick pace that it's almost hard to imagine that this is the guy who wrote R.I.P. which was four years worth of writing that tied into Bruce Wayne's entire career as a crimefighter. I cannot express just how much ass this book fucking kicks. It's sad that so many people are missing out on what will be one of the best Batman collaborations in history. Even if you don't read comics, check it out.